Friday, September 27, 2013

How to Piss off a Prego

This has happened to me 3 times...  The first time I was shocked.  The second my feelings were hurt, and the third, I was PISSED!

All three times, the convo started the same way...  

IDIOT: "Oh, congratulations!  When are you due!?"

ME: " Thank you! Halloween!"

IDIOT: " HALLOWEEN!?!?!? HOW MANY BABIES YOU GOT IN THERE!? ARE YOU SURE ITS NOT MORE THAN ONE??"

Really!?!?  Really!?!?  REALLY!?!?! Who the hell says that to someone?  Someone that is more than likely already feeling self conscious about her size and weight gain.  And to a stranger!!

ME FIRST TIME: " No, just one."  As, I swallowed the lump in my mortified throat - I was in a bathing suit at that!  And the woman was probably 77 years old and missing 77 teeth!  I actually packed my things from the pool and left. 

ME SECOND TIME: I was silent - what do you say?

ME THIRD TIME:  "Well, that was rude...  Is my size not to your liking?" I was ready this time

IDIOT #3: "I wasn't trying to be rude ma'am, its just when someone is that big, there is normally multiples"

ME: "Wow!  And the blows keep coming.  Next time you should keep your f'n mouth shut!  What a great way to talk to someone."  And I walked away like a BOSS.  A PISSED BOSS!

So... the moral of this story, never EVER ask a woman if she is sure there is not more than one baby in her belly!  Idiot #4 who knows what will happen to you!!  Watch out, whoever you are!!!




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