Friday, September 13, 2013

Cry me a river!

Today, I am 32 weeks.  Officially making me 8 months pregnant.  It is also purple Friday here in Baltimore so I have on my purple tank and everyone here in the office has made a comment of how I've really "Popped!! " You're getting BIG!  Can I rub your belly for good luck!? I don't really mind.  I really have enjoyed being pregnant so far...  It has been perfect.  And I enjoy my bump, and not having to worry about wearing spanx to conceal my muffin top. lol  It will be a sad day when I have to put away my maternity pants!

Last night I had a mini meltdown.  And I didn't even know it was coming...  On my way home from work, I called Pat as I do every day to chat and ask how his day was going, and what time I should expect him home.  He told me 9:00.  I said okay, see ya then!    Then I talked to my mom, she asked what I was doing, I didn't sound happy.  Well then the tears came!  Like a river!  I cried so hard I had to pull over my car and sit in the parking lot of some shopping center.  I don't even know what really came over me.   I'm still not used to these new work hours Pat has.... working so late.  He leaves the house at 6:30 am, and not back home until 9 pm.  When we get home from the hospital I'll be home with the baby and alone most of the time, and that scares the shit out of me.  I know my mother, and I'm sure my mother in law will be there, and help when needed, but it's just not Pat.  And this baby is coming, coming faster than I ever imagined! And I'm really at the point now that I'm just totally freaking out about everything.  Its not the birth that I'm scared of, its getting home and being alone and not knowing what the hell to do.  I'm a woman, how am I going to know what to do with balls and a penis??  And a bellybutton?  Oh jeez, the list goes on.  And then this week we got news that my father is being relocated to SAN DIEGO, the other side of the country, for six weeks!!!  Meaning there is a pretty damn good chance that he won't be here for Nino's big debut.  And that totally sucks :(  Not that he would be there doing anything...  But I obviously want him there.  I could cry thinking about it.  And to top it all off, my grandmother is in the hospital, shes not doing so well. Its a lot.  Like I said, I think all of my anxiety's just came out all at once!  And these hormones!  Whoooo!  

1 comment:

  1. I don't know if I am being very intrusive here but I feel like I'm talking to a friend... hang in there Krista!!! I hope your grandma is doing better. I have had the same thoughts about what am I going to do once baby is here. It's a whole different situation what I am living here, my dad lives in Mexico and my mother and sister don't speak to me. I only have my mother in law who has been extremely supportive and really amazing. My fear go from "I don't know anything about babies" to "I don't have a penny saved". Ugh... some nights anxiety attacks kick in and they are not pretty. It helps knowing we are not alone. I hear your fears and I really hope everything works out for you guys! It has been a pleasure to read every post! I swear I started last night and I'm already reading last Friday's post this morning haha It has been like a therapy :) Best wishes to you and your family! I am so waiting to see baby shower pics too!!